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Monday, October 10, 2011

NEIGHBOR: A brief review and why chicks are better psychos.

Beauty opens all kinds of doors. I won't elaborate because we all know that beauty is power, and blah, blah, blah. But what happens if beauty and a killer smile [pun totally intended] mask a dangerous psychosis that makes Pat Bateman look like a cub scout? Even worse- What if she is your neighbor? Even worse- She likes to take her work home with her. Literally. And instead of picking random victims, she prefers to keep it close to home. You save gas, no pre-stalking or expensive macro camera lenses needed. Just go next door- Nothing suspicious about dropping by to visit a neighbor right?!


Three unsuspecting male friends and one of their unfortunate girlfriends find out how true the old saying, 'Good fences make good neighbors.' Certainly the age old adage, 'love thy neighbor' need not apply when it comes to this dreadfully demented gal.

Basically, she tortures the whole lot of them, and she does it with the zeal of a virgin who just discovered oral sex. The chick has issues, obviously- but I give her props for being so upbeat and creative in her twisted methods, not to mention her hair's ability to hold such volume and body throughout the whole bloody ordeal- That's an amazing feat in itself. 

I don't believe in giving away too many spoilers so I won't.

There is a substantial amount of violence and gore- Torture is the main theme. The story was weak in my opinion and had there been more meat in the storyline the gore might have been more justified. Sure, I enjoyed the gore- I am a certified gore-hound, but the storyline provided no rhyme or reason why this chick was so hell bent on maiming and mutilating her neighbor and his friends- Not that psychos need a reason. But sometimes, gore for the sake of gore is tiresome and lazy. It was a well-shot film, in my opinion, and not a shitty B film that is supposed to have the plot of a phonebook so it compensates with gore and nudity.

*Note: I love shitty B movies, but this film was ambitiously aiming for the more 'artsy' vibe; Ironically, they might have nailed it if it explored the storyline a little more thus giving the audience more to chew on, rather than nasty, shallow death scenes- Over and over and over.....

This romp of a film is good for putting in while polishing your toenails [which is what I ended up doing....] or balancing your checkbook [which I have NEVER done...]. Any moron can follow the plotline [or lackthereof] and the reward is the twisted torture scenes, which are almost comical because the ambiance has more of a 'black comedy' feel than a serious horror film.  It is like Pat Bateman has a soul mate but was born 50 years too late.

In a nutshell- Imagine if the Marquis DeSade thought up a fictional female character with the imagination of Tomas de Torquemada, meets AMERICAN PSYCHO meets Desperate Housewives and SINGLE WHITE FEMALE but substitute Madchen Amick for Jennifer Jason Leigh. Kind of a heavy description but it comes somewhat close.

As to my assertion that females make better psychos: They just do. Men [no offense, but generally this is a pretty fair statement] think with their penis.' Vagina+good looks and a 1000 watt smile= Compliance. For the most part, not always. Once the pretty psycho has you in a compromising position [see: tied up a la kinky foreplay sex game] you can pretty much kiss your sweet ass goodbye. Unless you can get away, which is likely too, but I'm sure any good psycho has thought it through and has a contingency plan for any possible mishap. Argue with me if you want, but I will always think a woman makes a better psycho- The more aesthetically pleasing she is, the better psycho.

It's a fact. Deal with it.


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